I'm stuck sort of taking care of my parents, and they are great. But I just can't imagine bringing friends or a girl over. My parents wouldn't mind at all, I just feel like a failure and a mooch with no life of my own and I'm in my mids. What friends and romantic interests? I feel like i'm regressing back to my teen years. I just can't wait to get a job and move about so I can start living like a young adult already. I can't date a girl without my parents getting up in my business about it, yet alone bring her home to sleep with her.
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Dating people who live with their parent s. I know there's a lot of factors and I can't imagine a 40 year old who still lives in his mum's basement being the most attractive thing in the world but during a date last night, she seemed appalled that I live with my dad at the moment. I'm 26 and have had my own place before and lived in a different cities but right now, it's super convenient for me. I moved in when I came back from working abroad and it's been a pretty nice setup so far.
My dad is a pretty relaxed guy so he's more like a flatmate that happened to conceive and raise me. We both work Mon - Fri and he's at his girlfriend's place on the weekend so I've got my own space and privacy. I pay rent and I could move now but it's a great opportunity for me to save some money.
The girl I'm digging the most out of my current conversations lives with her parents cause her money mostly goes to her education. Wouldn't bother me for the most part. I recently moved out and the only reason I did is because I wanted to live in a new city. It used to bug me but since graduating, I've landed a full time job relevant to what I studied but unless I get a roommate don't want one , it's not sufficient for a nice place on my own at the moment.
Id rather save until then. I could really care less. If they are paying for everything for you and you have no signs of being independent, then I would say that's an issue.
But in my case, I go to school, work full-time, and pay all of my bills myself. I live in Southern California and it's pretty hard to find anything affordable that isn't in a scary neighborhood.
So i've noticed a lot of 20 somethings are still living with parents here. I don't think that because of any of that I am not "ineligible" to date and I shouldn't be.
Things don't work out the same for everyone. Primarily, I couldn't leave him alone after my Mom died. Secondly, he can't viably support himself variety of reasons I pay 2k per month, he pays 1k.
Thirdly, After my ex and I divorced I have the kids full time, and she's such a flake that the more concrete connections my kids have is a good thing.
I lived with my parents for a year and got mostly negative reactions. One girl seemed appalled even though she had told me earlier in the date that her parents paid for everything and she didn't really need to work.
Usually it was just a look of disappointment and no second date. I was always up front. A sad number of people are like that. My old roommate once told me she believed anyone who lived with their parents after the age of eighteen was poor. Of course, her parents paid for everything and she had an insane monthly allowance.
It's best not to date people with those kinds of views. I'll be 25 in 2 weeks and currently live at home. However, all the money that would have gone towards rent is instead going into my savings for a down payment on property in the next year or so. I think this is a reasonable scenario. I could care less. I've met guys that live with their parents but still have their shit together and I've met guys that live on their own but holy shit are their lives a wreck.
And I mean living with 5 other bros, taking in random couch surfers every other night, smoking so much everyone in the room gets high, kind of wreck. My old roommate is a huge mess of a man child, the perfect example of a guy who doesn't live with his parents yet embodies everything I couldn't deal with in a boyfriend.
My ex of five years lived with his parents, he's my age I promised myself that I would not get into that again. That said, the current guy I am "seeing" is 33 and still lives at home. Hes an only child, Italian, and from what I understand it's a cultural thing?
Its not ideal but as people have said not a deal breaker. As long as they have aspirations to move out, have a job, and there are no other major red flags, I'm okay with it.
I'm 35, attend college and work part-time. This is basically why I don't date. I've even had women who live at home reject me.
I'd prefer someone at home to someone who lives alone, is a total fucking pig in a grubby place or with fuckwit housemates. Or as someone said gets their parents to pay for shit. I'd rather someone have their own place, but given my age and the demographic I usually date, I can understand if someone is still in grad school and is living with their parents for the practicality of it.
I live alone, so it's not like we won't have someplace to go. I get negative reaction from women that I'm on a date or interested with whenever I mention that at 28 years old, I still live with my mother. I never got a second date or a chance to date with them because of that, and it's fine by me. It used to bother me a lot, but being the only kid and my mother's only family, I accepted the fact that if I'm dating somebody they would have to be understanding with the situation.
I pay for all the bills since she can't have a full time job, and the salary she's getting from her part time job goes to her medical bills she was diagnosed with cancer. I never mention my mother's condition to my dates since it's not a usual topic for a date and plus it's personal.
But I think that telling them that I'm my mother's only family meant that I'm a "mamas boy" or something since I never get second dates. I'm 31 and live with my parents. All three of us have different medical problems that mean we shouldn't live alone, and I'm not comfortable with the idea of foisting responsibility for me in a crisis onto a roommate.
I'm on the verge of starting to call my parents "housemates" or something. It's kind of sad that if they were an older couple that I rent a room from, everyone would be fine with it, but because they're related to me then that must mean I'm an overgrown child.
I think there's a difference between choosing to live with a parent and having no other choice but to live with a parent. I wouldn't have a problem with the former, but I might be a little wary of the latter and think that we weren't in the same place in life which is something I'm looking for at the moment. I live by myself in a pretty nice apartment. It gets old always being at my place.
I like it when a lady has a lot of independence and having her own place is an example of that.Sex and dating when you live with your parents - BBC News
I don't want to meet her parents. That's not something I want to do until we are serious. She is hopefully going to be older than me generally date older women and I am It's not a red flag but it's not a great sign: There are obviously exceptions.
I never found meeting parents much of a big thing though. Most of the time when I was dating someone who lived with their parents it just involved, "oh you're dating our daughter?
Cool" with some chit chat. They never really imposed and left us alone. Occasionally they would ask if i wanted to eat dinner as they were making some anyways. If you're into older women though it's a bit different. Kind of this too - I have my own condo so we default to going to my place. Which is fine, but it would be nice to mix it up.
Also I have a 9 year old who I am not introducing to anyone until we get serious. So when he comes over I can't have a sitter over my house I have to find a place for her to go.
I'm trying to understand. Moving out isn't the magical "fix" people think it will be in and of itself, but living at home can be a massively impeding factor preventing people from working on their social life, depending on their parent's culture and relationship with their kids.
I dated a girl for instance that had very impeding parents. She moved into a second floor apartment of their parent's building after living on her own for a bit to her mid 20's. One time when I was visiting, her mom just up and strolled right into her room to check on her to make sure we weren't banging. On top of that, this was a shared three bedroom apartment that two other people were living in as well whom were not family, so not exactly a "her house, her rules" scenario.
Depends on the type of parents. In my culture, premarital sex is taboo and going out every week is seen as bad should be studying instead.
Hence, at home I wouldn't get to go out I live in an almost rural town too let alone have a gf or sex. Now if I'm in my own place, I can do those things. My answer to this is: Go to another house or rent a cheap overnight hotel room.
There is no restriction on people who know how to live sociable or romantic lives. It's only the types who'd struggle in or out of their parental home that'd think the parents really matter that much. Yes, living with parents after a certain age leads to all sorts of arguments and doesn't teach people to be responsible for themselves, but they're seperate issues.
While we were in college, my SO and I had no where to be intimate due to neither of us living on our own. So we, both being adults late 20s just saved up our funds and had special dates once a week staying in at a decent motel. It helped us get closer. Btw, just saying I had no problem with his living with his parents situationally. It shouldn't be a problem if you're working on a solution, and if she's not ridiculously judgmental and superficial. Yes, it does infact change everything for a good amount of people.
It was so bad that I never even had friends because it wasn't worth dealing with my parents. This is the truth. Yeah, I got laid a bit more when I moved out of my parents' house, but not much changed really.
I just became more clean I guess and a bit more patient. My social life didn't change too much either. Was that a humble brag? It sort of seemed like one. I can't quite tell. I guess I've been detached for so long now that the ordinary seems extraordinary, but to be able to say "I got laid" even at all, let alone declaring that living alone made the frequency of getting laid increase, seems like the antithesis to the type of person I'm refering to.
I didn't mean it as a humblebrag honestly, I'm agreeing with you that things don't change as drastically as some might think just because someone doesn't live with parents anymore. It's not like I got laid regularly to begin with, I just got laid a bit more compared to how often I got laid when I lived with my parents hint: As far as I'm concerned, it seems like you had nothing to worry about and had to cope with the fairly typical complications and subtefuge of a young romance.
My advice was for the awkward crowd who believe that a small space to themselves will miraculously solve all their problems and make them likeable, when in fact all it does is remove the last safety they'll ever know and force them to live on very sparse means.
I'm 26 and living with parents for now, started a new career so hopefully out in the near future. No romantic relationships - haven't met anyone, and I'd feel too awkward to attempt to bring a one night stand over, or try something like Tinder. Friends aren't so bad, we just meet at the pub or at a friends that isn't living at home. Its nice having a full fridge and the occasional lift, plus I get on with them great, but can't wait to get out. I'm dating a woman now who lives with her folks.
She's amazing, and after the crash, I don't blame people for being back with there folks. I'm 34 and my mom lives with me. She got divorced late in life having never really worked. So here I am, in my childhood home which was gifted to me with the understanding that my mom has residence there until death unable to afford both the upkeep on that and an apartment.
My friends don't care, they all love my mom. That's one of the reasons. I can't really bring somebody home, as the only real privacy I can have is my bedroom, and that's just a bedroom.
I don't have a living room where I can chill with a date or whatever cause it's a small house. So on top of never meeting women, even if I did it would be very uncomfortable to date. Recently had to move home, because couldn't find a new place to live. I'm 30 and have been living out of home since the age of There's a rental housing crisis in the country I live in at the moment, which makes it harder to find somewhere to live, especially since I'm unemployed.
I live at home with my parents, but I own the house. They moved in with me when my dad was diagnosed with cancer and lost his job.
Dating when you live with your parents reddit
I was more than happy to have them back and would do anything to help them, but if I'm being honest I would've loved to go back to living on my own. This is kinda how I feel. My friends are cool enough to let me hang out at their place, but deep inside it makes me feel like shit that I can't have them over at my place. As for girls, well that hasn't worked out well at all. Mostly because even when I explain my situation to them they all give me the "yeah, right" look and think I'm just making up a story to justify living with my parents.
I honestly can't wait to finish school and have the financial flexibility to do something about this. I moved back a year and a half ago. I have a great job, but the housing situation in my area is insane. My girlfriend doesn't mind and my friends don't give a fuck.
My parents are pretty awesome people, i like living with them. After moving to another city for a few years for work I recently moved back home due to rent prices being crazy and saving for my own house. Moving back was a shock first, it seemed I have regressed back as a teenager. My time is always interrupted. I work full time and doing a part time masters, so when I get home around I like to chill play a computer game for an hour or so and head to bed. This has stopped now since moving back, since when I get home my parents want me to do little jobs around the house that usually end up being an hour or two a night!
My girlfriend lives in another city, so she comes over a few nights a week. My parents get on great with her and my mum would usually hang out with her while I'm in work. My bedroom is right next doors to theirs, so sexy time can be quite at times. It does feel weird being back, I get a bit down sometimes thinking how I ended up back here.
But really its just a stepping stone for me to buy my own house. My dad is very sick at the moment so its great to be around him and learn from him as much as possible.
OH Privacy, I have none of it. Mum would come in and root around my room. After hundred attempts of asking her to stop and catching her red handed I have just given up and become a master at hiding things, so well that I dont know where some of it is. End of the day there are pros and cons of living at home. But after growing up and having a sick parents I am happy to be back and help them out as much as possible.
US here - housing is expensive. Moved back home 2 months ago and moving back out in a couple more months. The extra cash I have now though. You're going to have to lower your expectations, but you should be able to find people since most of the population is living like this now and has throughout history.
I'm 23 but I still live at my parents until my degree is finished next year and I get a job so I can get on my feet. If people ask, I say it's to avoid student debt I work extra to fund my first apartment and because I like my family and our dog.
If any girl has an issue with that, she can bugger off. My fiancee and I got booted from our apartment a couple of months ago. I can't begin to tell you how crazy I've gone seeing my parents every day. Even my mom looking at me sends me into a mental rampage. Getting out in a few weeks and it can't come soon enough. My parents are great. It's just not meant to be. Old people inevitably get so f'ing weird. It's the only thing we can afford financially right now we're students. I have a great group of friends but I don't see any of them anywhere near enough, but it has nothing to do with living at home and all to do with school keeps me busy and our schedules don't make it so we can hang out a lot, since most of my friends are married and have kids by now.
Here's the thing though, I have never had a romantic interest or a friend care that I live at home and I have lived there almost my whole life. You are going to care about that much more than anyone else. It may also help that everyone friends and girlfriend love my mom as she is one of the most laid back people ever, but people don't know that until they get to know her, if people are going to judge me because I'd rather be living at home to save some money while I get my life on the right track instead of going into even more debt to have a shitty apartment, then I don't want them in my life anyways.
You're right, I don't want anybody that'll judge me for that reason. For me being at home is the logical option, and if people don't understand that then I don't need them in my life.
I moved out only recently 29 not much has changed although having my own space and no drama from home is great.
Wouldn't dream of bringing a girl back when with parents im from one of those cultures so the freedom is well worth it. Plus I find i'm much more sociable now. I actually moved back into my grandmother's house a couple years ago so I could help her out with money and things around the house. My social life is honestly probably better now than it was when I was living on my own. I've never been one to hang out at my place with friends most of the time anyway, I've usually preferred going to their place or out somewhere.
I've had a few girls over, though, and it really isn't awkward at all. She mostly respects that I'm living my own life. I used to pretty much just hang out with my roommates at our house and that would be the majority of my social life. It might have just been coincidental really, it might just be that I'm older now and my views and attitude have changed, or it might be that I was just content with staying in with my roommates whereas now I go out of my way to leave my house.
It's likely a combination of those things more than anything. I know I won't be living here forever so I'm pretty comfortable with it. I did luck out, though. The entire 4-room upstairs was mine. My front door opened to the walled-in steps, with an opening to the living room on the left. When I turned 18, my dad put a door in that opening, with the lock facing me. He never used the front door, so it became my entrance to my upstairs apartment. I never locked the door unless I had female company, though, and only kept it closed to keep the noise down when I was jamming or gaming or friends over.
I had my own bathroom, phone, living room, 2-room bedroom I knocked an archway in the one wall and jam room. I paid a portion of all the bills. I stayed there until I was 26, because I had absolutely no reason to leave.
This has me a little confused. I generally think of living with your parents to support them as the opposite of mooching. The no life situation is you are still at home but they are supporting you. They're both pretty old and they like to have me around. I help them when they are sick or tired. I don't work and I go to school, I live off my financial aid.
I just pay for my food and gas mostly. I feel like a mooch for not working and not having responsibilities. Yeah but where I'm from.
There's less income disparity among younger people in the labour force so when a girl asks why I'm still with parents i ask her the same thing and explain how that was a really dumb question to ask.
Before any Americans get their panties in a twist about i should move out of my parents' place, other countries have different housing prices and different cultures. Have a buddy thats 27 and just recently moved out of his parents place. And into a rental house with his sister and her fiance. To be honest this guy doesn't get a lot of respect because all he does is drink and hit on younger yr old girls All he ever did with his parents was drink beer and watch sports, his dads friends would come over and a few of his every weekend and they'd watch whatever sport was on that season.
I never understood how he can live with his parents for so long, or why when finally moving out him and his sister moved 3 blocks away into the rental He is fairly decent at scoring with girls. But when you hit on everything that walks it just becomes a numbers game at that point.
He has a kid with a younger girl that cheated on him, he has his son every other week and the Friday before his halloween party his baby momma "really put a lot of people out" because she couldn't pick up his boy immediately after work. Not too long ago this was me. I went to some expensive schools etc and with apartments starting at 2. Im out now and its great but for a while there i was completely stuck.
I would stick to the occasional tinder girl, but I would shut anything down that got me to a point where i might have to take a girl home. Moved back in after college a few years ago, from 24 to Had zero romantic interests and we had a big house and parents cool and all that. It seems to be a huge advantage in the dating world and something women look for. Even though oodles of them still live at home, they don't want any potential man to do it.
World we live in today. My good friend is 40 or around 40, he doesn't like to talk about his age , and has only lived away from his parents for a few weeks when he tried to go to college and couldn't handle the anxiety it caused him. He is a pretty good dude, really smart and fun to be around He has comic books and toys piled up almost floor to ceiling in his living room shared space with his parents , and spends the majority of his time on video games and collecting toys, games, and junk spending his parents money, of which they have plenty.
If he didn't also go to the gym every day, I would be worried. He has some emotional and anger problems, and he doesn't put himself in positions to meet people to maybe make relationships -- but he is also the kind of guy that only finds blonde, fake-titted women attractive. He also has trouble making friends due to anxiety, paired with a brutal sense of humor that most people find inappropriate at first meeting.
He's a damn mess. Romantic interest is non existent since no one wants to date a guy that still lives at their parents. For the record I do have an ok paying engineering job.
Just can't find an affordable place to move out to. I just turned 28 and will be moving out if my parents place for the first time in NY life. Staying with your parents until you get your first full time job after your education is considered pretty standard. Even so, I've worked for the last 4 years while still living at home with the goal of buying a place which I recently did and will be moving into next month.
When I want to sleep with a girl, I usually check get a nice hotel room or something. During the more serious relationships we would just go to her place. As for friends, I have them over and luckily my parents are cool with it. I guess I'm fortunate in the sense that I get along well with my parents.
I can't imagine living with them otherwise. I don't really have any friends or relationship options. But I'm not the typical still lives at home case. Mental illness is a bitch. I'm only 24, deciding whether to move out or get a new car. I only have enough money to do one or the other, but I know I'm getting closer and closer to that age where it's looked down upon to still live with your parents. Romantic life is non-existent. Friendships are hard to come by, but that's primarily because I still live in my hometown and many of my friends have moved on.
I live with my mother because she has Alzheimer's and can't take care of herself. Can't bring friends over anymore, but being in my 30s that's not much of an issue anyway. As for women, well, again, I'm in 30s and a virgin, have always been completely rejected by women, so my romantic life isn't affected by this. I'm Italian, we stay until marriage.
I rarely had friends over when I was younger, hasn't changed. I need some first. I have a job, car, money, but as an "adult", I am not ready need to learn to cook more and do laundry. Never had a gf and I have one friend that I hang out with, but I got a full time job and a truck so yeah.
This isn't the 70s when someone could just walk into a bar, get a job bartending and buy a house and a car on the wages. That being said, both my girlfriend and I were in our 30s living with our different, obviously parents and she dumped me once she got her own place.
I'm 25 and have always lived with my parents. I'm an electrician making a decent wage but I just can't afford to move out yet. It's going to be a few years until I can. Most of my friends are in the same boat and an awful lot of people here are so there's very little stigma.
Friends don't come round because we go to the pub instead and its been that way since we were 18, although now a couple have houses so we can relax in a house no problem. Relationships are non existent for me at the moment through personal choice since I have a 1 year old with a girl I've never been with and I would rather put my time and effort into the boy than a new girl.
I just moved back in with my parents to help them and to be honest I am having a tough time with it. Like invite the homeless to live here for a while, or hoard to a dangerous level. I actually just deleted a big long spiel I wrote about it, but it is really messing with me.