By | 07.10.2018

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What it’s Like to Date an INFJ (+ Advice)

I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. I write mainly relationship, dating, and heartbreak articles. If you are certain that you have an INFJ in your life, you should know that this is a complicated waltz. It's not that an INFJ wants to be complicated, They're just kind of a perfectionist — and particularly so in relationships. They're looking for the best match possible.

What Is It Like To Date An INFJ?

Unfortunately, most of the guys who wrote about themselves were not attractive to me. So then I switched gears.

If I found someone attractive, I looked to see if they had a bio. Look, the point is this. Whether prioritizing looks or character, Tinder is not working for me. She said I will probably remain single unless I lower my standards. I know millions of people do exactly this all the time! But the very idea of it makes me want to shrivel up and die.

The Beginner’s Guide to Meeting INFJs

Just when I was complaining about this to my friend, whose online dating exploits led to zoo trips and make out sessions and male feminism, I found an article that put things in perspective for me. But I am picky…when it comes to trusting people. As an i N tuitive type, I rely on my gut to tell me whether or not I can trust a person, and three pictures and a weird one-sentence bio is not enough to convince my gut that I should give a guy a chance.

Marissa ends her article talking about how INFJs should focus on themselves. What thinking about this from an INFJ perspective has done is helped me realize something very important: Thanks for your link to my blog! I tried online dating once for about two days. Signed up for a free profile on Christian Mingle, and deleted it as soon as the first guy tried to contact me. Even though I wrote the advice to concentrate on yourself and I really do believe it, and that building friendships is important , it frustrates me as well.

Like Liked by 1 person. And you last comment reminded me: I think I subconsciously thought, for a long time, that if I just waited and worked on myself, a guy would appear as a reward. Like Liked by 2 people. I just found your blog through a google search on INFJs, and this post was like reading my own thoughts on a page.

I gave up on online dating for the time being. Eharmony worked sort of… but after one guy had just gotten out of a mental institution, another one had anger issues, and a third had a wife and newborn, I was done.

The internet used up my trust quota for strange men. Cheers to the complicated dating adventure that is being an INFJ. I installed all of them, then uninstalled a few days later, after going through all the phases you mentioned.

They need something a little different in life to feel content and fulfilled and sometimes this can create problems in dating if they find themselves with a partner who grew up and wants a more traditional lifestyle. INFJs have difficulty in bonding with people who live a fast paced life or have to constantly be surrounded by others. INFJs struggle with bouts of depression. Their feelings about their artistic work and inability to feel understood can affect their relationships if their bout of depression lasts long.

The inner world of an INFJ is so much more than what you see on the outside but it takes time for them to reveal that side to others. INFJs have an innate ability to develop rich inner worlds they can retreat to when the outside world becomes too much.

Their inner-self closely mimics the personality of an ENFP — energetic, fearless, outgoing. INFJs can be easily disappointed. They are highly idealistic and are always dreaming up some new big idea, not only for themselves, but to share with their partner and loved ones.

The problem comes when they forget to maintain a level of realism and find their ideas blowing up in their face. The easiest way to deal with this is for their partner to help keep them grounded during their bouts of daydreaming.

They can be just as self-absorbed as they can be loving and generous with their time and attention. While they are warm-hearted and empathetic individuals, they can also go off into their own world and forget about others until they come back out again. Sometimes their greatest romantic interests will turn into nothing because INFJs rarely initiate anything in dating.

Infj online dating

INFJs have a problem with being the first one to show interest or to reveal their feelings when it comes to matters of the heart. They would much rather observe the other person, over analyze every possible situation and outcome, and slowly test the waters before even giving a small piece of themselves.

Even if they have great admiration for someone or get a big crush on another person, an INFJ will often bury that feeling within themselves until they feel through their observations that the other person is also interested.

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2 comments

  1. Kigaramar

    In it something is. Clearly, many thanks for the help in this question.

    Reply

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