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Still, it was far from a smooth journey. Though, in that respect, I guess I do have eHarmony and Match to thank for my writing career. Armed with years of slow-churned cynicism, I took to the internet to see if others shared my experiences. What I uncovered were some harsh realities about online dating that no one ever talks about. After the jump, some things you might not have known….

After the jump, some things you might not have known…. Online dating sites love to boast about the millions of members they have. A few years ago, OKCupid calculated that Match was only marginally better, coming in at OKCupid was acquired by Match in , and that article has since been taken down for obvious reasons.

Of course, putting something on the internet is kind of like catching herpes: And that would be wise… if not for the scads of other evidence that online dating sites do in fact juice up their numbers. To date, Match has been involved in a spate of lawsuits by disgruntled daters, alleging that the vast majority of their member profiles are inactive or outright fake.

One suit went as far as to accuse Match of employing shills to entice members to renew their subscriptions. These cases were all dismissed or dropped , but the most recent one in did produce disheartening results well, disheartening for online daters — the results were great for Match. This time, a federal judge threw out the case, on the grounds that Match makes perfectly clear in their terms of service that they do not screen member profiles, nor will they take any responsibility for doing so.

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In other words, even if the allegations are absolutely correct that most of their profiles are inactive or fake, Match is not obligated in any way to remove them. And hey, mad props to you for being such an exemplary case of human savvy. Still, you might want to pay attention to this story , of the woman who went on a few dates with a man she met on Match, only to end up getting stabbed multiple times by him when she tried to break it off. Once again, Match got slapped with a lawsuit.

And this time… whoa , they actually did something about it. In , Match finally announced that they would start implementing background checks. Woo hoo, score one victory for the online dater, right?

Hailing down on their own parade, Match admitted that the background checks may do little good. Were you actually trying to help? So, go ahead and enjoy online dating if you dare. Just be ridiculously wary of the human scum you may come across. And your date will never know the difference hopefully.

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And guys, if Mother Nature graced you with the splintered end of the eloquence stick, this man will be your online dating coach. He will even pretend to be you throughout the entire communication process. Using his background in screenwriting i. Have fun on your date! Oh, and just to be perfectly clear, this particular entry is intended as a beware of , not a how-to.

Then again, when you read what comes next, you may want to consider outsourcing your dating life after all. And this is exactly what happens on an online dating site.

But, the problem is, there are just too many damned dating profiles out there. Obligatory selfie reveals a superfluous third nipple? Keep in mind, these are people you might totally have given a chance if you had gotten to know them in real life. But online, you have hundreds of potential dates that you have to pare down. And the easiest way to do so is to pick random, easy-to-spot dealbreakers that are invariably shallow and overly critical.

Browsing profiles does not appear to be such a mechanism. Basically then, online dating will turn you into a superficial asshole. And it gets even worse when you pair your newfound shallowness with…. Yet another survey has shown that nearly one-third of women who do online dating have sex on the first date. Hold on a sec. If not, well, the problem is that online correspondence creates a false sense of familiarity, so that by the time you meet someone for the first time, you think you know them more intimately than you actually do.

They conducted a survey of online daters and found that the longer they waited to meet a match in person, the more likely they were to feel let down. What gives the study a ring of truth? That its lead researcher, Artemio Ramirez Jr. There is an online dating 'cut-off' for meeting dates.

Of course, there are many reasons to delay meeting a potential match. But the simple truth is that messaging on the internet is nothing more than a fact-finding mission.

Often, you end up filling in the gaps. It happens all the time.

Online dating is a fact finding mission. The sooner you can assess whether those online sparks translate into real-life chemistry, the better.

Daisy Buchanan, author of dating guide Meeting Your Match agrees. It feels a bit more intimate. One friend tells me that, if she has a positive feeling about someone, she gives them the details of her Facebook account and switches to messaging them away from the dating site. And meet them you must.

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Many macchiatos maketh the match and not all of us are great in writing. As the study suggests, time waits for no match. Take the plunge and meet in person. Well, there are things you can take away from it for next time. Were your expectations too high?

Were they right for you —why not? Which of your needs did you think they might fulfil? Should you avoid people who make grammatical errors in their profile? You likely did nothing wrong. But answering these questions is a useful way to progress the process of online dating. Many match-making websites now have their own blogs, or guides advising you how and when to meet — among other tips — that you might find useful.

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