A little while ago, I offered unsolicited advice for men over 50 about dating. This came mostly from what women had told me about their dates. Now, it's time for advice for women. Dangerous territory, I know. And while I'm confident men over 50 are generally worse at dating than women of that age, I'm equally sure that both genders can learn as they navigate new relationship terrain. Mature women take much better care of themselves, as a rule, than mature men.
Let things flow organically. This goes for both genders, but women over 50 seem to want to size guys up right away in terms of their long term relationship potential. You don't want to waste your time, I understand that. But if you've already made the determination that he's worth a date, see where it goes for a bit before passing judgment.
That Thorny Matter of Money.
Money is probably not a great date topic even if it's really, really important to you! I got this text before a date which I then declined to go on: I get that, I suppose. And one actually put forth the idea I should write her monthly checks.
If money is hugely important, pre-screen your dates better. That Thornier Matter of Sex. Just as men shouldn't talk about or expect sex too soon, women should appreciate that most of us -- male and female -- aren't on these dating sites solely for someone to hike with or take to the opera some are, but not most.
When sex comes up, a frequent comment from women, is, "This isn't I'm not just going to jump into bed. Waiting awhile is okay. The "friends first" mantra is common. And it isn't But it also isn't , and if there is mutual attraction, at this stage of our lives, waiting a long time -- whatever that may be -- seems equally foolish. Yes, there are often wide differences between men and women in the emotional attachment created by sex. Someone brilliant once said, "Men sleep with women to see if there could be a relationship.
This type of thinking comes from fear. When you're feeling this way, take a baby step and go on one dating site. Once you've taken one step and you've had some success, the next step will be a lot easier.
50 plus dating tips
The cool thing is Men don't love talking about feelings although they are far more emotional than you think. Your usual type hasn't made you happy in the past so why will he start making you happy now?
Tip 6 -- Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right! Henry Ford said this about developing cars. Tip 7 -- Stop dating from your mind and start dating from your heart. You're heart doesn't necessarily want what your mind does when it comes to a man. Remember your mind is always trying to keep you safe and in your comfort zone. Here's the difference a great profile and awesome pictures can make Tip 9 -- Dating can be both overwhelming and exhausting.
It's important to take a break whenever you need to. There are always people passing food around, and, certainly, in the States this is very common. Tell us the range of options that are out there, paid and unpaid, and just give us some advice and recommendations. I am one of those dating coaches that believe unpaid sites are fine, too. A lot of men have profiles on both the paid and unpaid sites.
The nice thing about the unpaid is that everybody can write to everybody. On the paid sites, you have to be a paid member to write. By the way, writing to a man is not the best thing to do. Most men will write you back to be nice, but it usually fizzles because the attraction has to start on his side. A guy has to be interested in you first. A fascinating thing to consider is that we may not be that interested in a guy, but once we get to know them, men grow on us.
What are you doing on here? Men have to do. They have to go by their attraction factor first.
This is why men are dating younger women. The other thing about online dating is your profile. I love being in my garden. I love cutting flowers. I like to think of online dating as a virtual cocktail party. I love pink flowers. I teach women how to do this, too. Make it into a story that intrigues a man to want to get to know you. Your picture is also really important. Still, you want pictures of you that are flattering. You want the men that like you.6 Rules for Dating Over 50- Engaged at Any Age - Coach Jaki
You lied about thiswhat else are you gonna lie about? Show yourself for who you are, take a full body shot. And women do, too. It goes back to wanting the people that want us. I know you do individual coaching and remote coaching over telephone or Skype. I know the first call with you is complimentary. I love your energy. Who should make the first move?
They wait for a man to reach out to them, either call them or notice them somewhere. I know a lot of people feel the opposite way, that women should feel free to make the first move. Men are very, very fearful of rejection. We get rejected, too, but on a much smaller scale. He has to be the one asking. In fact, if he was attracted to you, he would probably ask you out, though not necessarily because men are afraid to. I teach women how to give men signals, so that men would want to ask them out.
I still content that it is much harder for us to do in the real world. You have given us so much advise and so many tips. I would actually like to have you back on again and go through this in a little bit more detail. For now, I just want to make sure we highlighted the fact that you have just released or are about to release a new book. When is it coming out? That is a very different time in our lives. I wanted women to understand that they need specific tools and skills to date at this age.
The book came out the week of October 8 th. In that letter you will find out how to get the book for free for four days in October on Amazon. The best thing to do is to sign up for that free report and then start watching next week for the blog and other emails.
If you would like a hard copy book, that will be out there also. Yes, and anybody can download Kindle reading software to any technological apparatus they have, for free.
Thank you so much for writing that book. I appreciate it very much. I had so much fun and I would love to come back any time. We can talk about something a bit deeper that maybe your audience wants to know more about. I would want you to just take two minutes and tell us anything that you think is good advice for us. Last minute shout out to those 33, women over What would you say to them?
Get out there and do what I call date to date. Have fun with men. Have fun and be around male energy.
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Thank you again for being here. I look forward to reading your book and having you back in the future. Have you tried over 50 dating? What advice would you like to offer to the other women in our community? Do you have any questions for Lisa? Please join the conversation.
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Tags Interviews Senior Dating Advice. She is an entrepreneur, author and speaker. Margaret is passionate about building dynamic and engaged communities that improve lives and change perceptions. Margaret can be contacted at margaret sixtyandme.
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