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It is about being wise and knowing better and realizing it would be very hard for her, most likely, if you dated him. When you and said guy have bumps in the road of dating or just flirting, you won't have her for a sounding board or buddy to commiserate with. It is not your fault he does not like her. It isn't her fault or his fault either.
Attraction is a tricky deal. We don't all equally feel attraction for all other people. The sooner you learn this, the easier dating gets. Again, think long and hard before jeopardizing your friendship.
Girlfriends are the one we go to when guys treat us poorly, ditch us for other girls, hit it and quit it or are jerks. Girlfriends are also the ones we go to for advice or emotional support when our man cannot provide it. You will likely flirt with and date more guys than you will ever have a relationship with.
But you can have stable life-long friendships with girlfriends if you choose. If she's really your friend, and she notices that the guy is interested in YOU and not your friend, then yeah you should go out with him if you really want, and she'll understand.
If she becomes a bitch to you because you're going out with a guy that has NO feelings for her, even though she does, then that's her own fault and you should point that out to her with the hopes that it'll open her eyes.
But still I'd feel so bad I wan't to, but don't want to hurt her. If you feel so bad and don't ant to hurt her, then dont If you really like the guy and are intending to be in a committed relationship with him ie marrying , then I think your friend will be ok with it and will understand, however if its something long term but going nowhere are something short like a fling , I think she'll be hurt a lot more and also be offended.
Talk to her about it!!! She should be happy for you and support you going out with him! If she says she's OK with it, don't worry about hurting her. This isn't her ex-BF you're going out with. Thehand0 - well for me I wouldn't plan on it being a fling, but marriage is a bit dramatic, I am only 19 so I'm not really thinking about that, I am aiming for long-term, but if he ends up dumping me then well I guess that would suck I have NEVER dumped a guy in my life.
Answerer - But even if she says she is OK with it, I know she would be lying, even though it is a crush it will still hurt, whether she says it sill or not.
If you break up for whatever reason it would suck, so before you pursue the relationsihp, you need to ask yourself , would a breakup with this guy be more sucky than losing this friend which is definitely a possibility.
Also, consider how you would feel if the situation were reversed?
What to Do When You & Your Friend Like the Same Guy
If the girl is really her friend, unless she's a completely close-minded CHILD, she's not gonna stop being friends with the question asker merely because she chooses to go out with a guy who isn't even interested in her, but is interested in the question asker. A lot of the time it is what people think and perceive that matters rather than reality If you were dumped for what amounted to a fling.
Or perhaps the QA put this question up because he really likes this guy? What if she and her friend both have similar taste in guys?
What if her friend is some freak who will suddenly be interested in every guy the QA is interested in? I'm going to assume you have a best friend.
Let's say your best friend one day gets lucky That means you should stop being friends with him, right? I doubt her friend knows this guy properly to have more than a crush over him. I'd go even so far as to saying she only likes the guy because the QA does. Some girls are that much of a bitch. They're drama queens just waiting for an opportunity to hold a grudge.
The QA doesn't need friends like these. I say she should go for the guy. As much as she really likes the guy and really desires to be in a relationship with him, it seems she doesn't want it at the expense of hurting her friend.
She cares about her friend and was concerned for her. It seems she is stuck between the two options and is having a had time deciding which course of action is best. Of course, what she does is entirely up to her Also, this isn't about me or you. Ok wow you guys had an entire conversation without me lol. I agree with the answerer. The friend has no right to tell you not too, and if the guy likes you and not her, that just makes her a meddling 3rd party. I had two friends who liked the same guy, in the end her best friend did date the guy The other girl said she was ok with it, but I can tell she still really liked him.
She didn't blame her friend since she knew the guy liked the other girl. I've been in the same situation a couple of times, and if I like the person I'll date them. It may sound selfish, but it would be selfish of them to not allow me to date them if I like them and they don't have a shot.
Because it'd be pointless and neither of us would be happy. If you like him, you should tell your friend and say you want to date him because you think he likes you too. Even if you know he likes you, it just sounds better to say you think he likes you. I think most people would understand. Go for it, if she's your friend she'll be supportive, even if she's a little jealous. Also, I've been in this situation and have gone for it, although it's probably easier for guys.
I would expect a guy friend to do the same to me if she was into him. Yea this is true. Your friend is preventing you from having a bf. Stop living for other people's sake. From what you say, I get the feeling that you're torn between the two options, 1 dating the guy, hurting your friend and potentially making yourself happy OR 2 not dating the guy, not hurting your friend but potentially hurting yourself.
Maybe it comes down to this: Should her happiness come at your expense? OR should your happiness come at her expense? Which of the two would you prefer? Perhaps it isn't so black and white, but it can sometimes help to look at things this way. I got over it pretty quickly so I say go for it with this guy.
Dating a guy your friend likes
But that isn't the question Unless you're going to marry the guy, your friendship is probably more important. Maybe, but here's why I say that.
If you don't end up in that sort of a long term relationsihp with him, you will most likely break up and you may not have either him or your friend as you entered into this relationship at her expense and invested so much in your relationship with him while probably neglecting your relaitonship her.
You might deny that, but in reality, it happens a lot eve though people can have the best of intentions. The loss of both your boyfriend and your friend will hurt you. So with this situation, if I were you, and as girls might still say put your friend before your potential boyfriend.Can You Date Your BFF's Crush? I Just Between Us
If two girls liked me, I'd walk away. I wouldn't want to get in the way of a friendship. Chicks before dicks, right? It seems to me that your friend is doing this on purpose, not knowing that she is doing it though , I had two friends, one would get all the guys and the other would get with them after wards or before the other girl if she knew she liked him. It was a completetion for the girl to get what ever the other girl had or wanted.
So with all that being said, I think you friend may doing this. It seems funny that every time you like someone she likes them too. Not trying to say anything bad, but I would really think about that. Alot of best friends like the same guy but does it really happen that much.
I wouldn't think so, I don't care how much you and your friend are alike. The odds are slim to none. IF she was really your friend she would support you in any dession you make and still be your friend. A girl knows if a guy likes them, and they definitly know when a guy likes there best friend.
I'm sorry if you took any of this badly, I'm not trying to say anything bad about your freind, but I would definitly think about it. OF all those times did your freind end up dating any of those guys that liked you. I like the idea of finding someone for your friend before you actually date this guy you like so much.
Hope everything works out. That way she would finally stop liking the people that like you and she would be happy. Put here before yourself and you won't have to worry about this problem anymore. Just bring her to a social gathering at college or a nightclub. Max 2 weeks to find her a boyfriend. How long are you going to let your friend stand in the way of the relationship you want?
What if he started to like her instead? Would she go out with him? If so, then you're letting your friend abuse your friendship.
If not, then they're never going to be with each other anyway. Either way, it makes no sense to let her stand in the way of what you want. Today's Posts Member List Calendar. Forum Rules Everyone Must Read!!! You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this forum to post any material which is: Notice it's not a blank ticket, but just a place to vent. If you go into the Ankap thread, you enter at your own risk of being clowned on.
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