Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. I've just started seeing a guy with major depression, and I'm not sure what to do. I've suffered from depression in the past, sometimes severely, but have recovered from it through counselling, and feel happy with my life now. This guy seems seriously depressed, and I think he has been on meds and seeing psyches for a long time, perhaps even years. I'm not sure how much it has helped him. He's taken time off of work, and has been in and out of doctors all week. His contact with me has been patchy with me since going on a date last weekend, which he apologised for because he was feeling unwell.
So I don't think that's the reason for the lack of contact, but still, it makes me feel ignored even though I know depression can make people shut others out and act non-rationally. I didn't ask him out sooner because a year ago I was severely depressed, and didn't think it was a good time to date.
I'm worried that he won't be able to deal with dating because of his mental health. But then again, he's had long-term relationships in the past. Should I still date him? I don't like this lack of contact, but I know it isn't necessarily something he's in control of.
What am I signing up for?
I really like him, but what if he's someone who won't get better ever? Welcome to Beyond Blue. Dating someone with depression can be tricky. Are you having conversations with the real person or the one with depression.
This is the start of your relationship, which means it may last forever, be over next week or something in between. At this stage I would presume his reluctance to respond has nothing to do with you personally, more likely his depression. So ask him again.
Tell him you don't want to be intrusive but feel it is reasonable to have a reply. Before you do all this, think about your own situation. Remember when you were depressed.Love Someone Who Has Depression? This is What You Need to Know.
How did you feel? Did you go out on dates or was it all too hard? And thinking about this, how attracted are you to this guy? Enough to walk with him during his depression? No one else can tell you if you want to continue seeing him, it's up to you.
You have first hand knowledge of depression and understand how others feel.
Everyone feels sad from time to time, but depression is different than normal mood fluctuations. Understanding the reality of depression is vital to being a good ally as you embark on your relationship. Educate yourself about the illness; there are endless online resources where you can read about depression from both medical and personal standpoints to help you gain a deeper understanding of what the illness looks and feels like.
Instead, ask them about their experience and respect their boundaries. Stay flexible and consider activities that are within their comfort zone. Instead of going out to dinner, have a nice meal at home.
Instead of going to that party, stay in and watch movies. Sometimes they may simply not be up for socializing at all and need some alone time; try to be respectful of their needs without taking it personally. Depression is a complex illness that affects mood in myriad ways. Recognizing their illness for what it is is essential to being an ally.
Discounting their feelings by automatically attributing them to depression only serves to hinder honest conversation and emotional connection.
Dating someone with major depression
It is heartbreaking to see someone you care about in pain, and your natural reaction is probably to try to make it all okay. But depression is not cured by love or kindness. The truth is that there are no quick fixes for depression. Over the years, as medication and therapy stabilized her, her self-confidence increased.
She became more comfortable interacting with others and eventually began to think about dating. She wanted a relationship and in time she sidelined her trepidations. At an outdoor event, she met James, After dating for a couple of weeks, she casually brought up her struggle with depression. He asked questions about her experience and listened attentively and calmly, she says. Taking it slow and establishing trust is a wise choice says Daniel J. On the second or third date, you can test the waters by bringing up the subject of your depression in a general way.