We met at an 80s party. I was decked out in hot pink leg warmers, lace leggings, and a Madonna-esque black tutu. I was supposed to meet a friend there, but he was on a Bumble date and running late. I accepted his offer. While we danced, I noticed that he was being incredibly gentlemanly, which, sadly, made me suspicious. My experience dancing with strangers is that they tend to get a bit grabby.
All of those factors, as well as his increasing clinginess, played into my decision to end it with Greg. Just to clear the air, no, Greg was not a sugar daddy and I was not his sugar baby.
Yes, those arrangements are very much real. And, sadly, I could tell sometimes when we were in public that people were making that assumption about us.
We respected each other and the relationship was equal in every sense of the word. It makes me appreciate my youth, and I enjoy learning from their experiences and yes, enjoying the benefits of their sexual experiences. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.
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The Secret Of Men. Get our newsletter every Friday! And what this equates to in your relationship is someone who is willing to put in the work to get to know you, which usually results in a better sexual experience with you. Maturity brings some insights along with a different perspective on life. With some maturity comes some real-life experiences.
You go through ups and downs and you learn to navigate through various obstacles to move forward. Dating someone older means they can provide you with some insights and different perspectives when you encounter something which can seem insurmountable.
It can save you time and needless energy overthinking a problem and more importantly help you move forward quicker.
Being with an older man can be a good balance for you especially in a world where things move at a hyper pace. With maturity comes a greater appreciation for the little things in life and being with someone mature can help you learn to slow down, relax, and recalibrate. There might be a need to outdo one another when you are closer in age and achievements.
When someone is older and because they are more established, they may not have the same need to compete with you.
This age dynamic can dial back the immaturity of poor communication and ego-busting that can happen with someone that is closer to your age. In fact, they may become your biggest cheerleader pushing you to levels you may not have felt you could accomplish.
They had a life before you. It can include past marriage s , relationships, kids, grandkids, etc. Navigating this in your relationship with an older man can take some patience on your part. You will also need to have clear parameters and communication with one another of what to expect for one another as far as their relationships with ex-wives, kids, etc.
We don't have daddy or daughter issues and people who care can see we are equals. Another thing that's worth mentioning is that most people don't consider that it's not easy to emotionally satisfy an older man. Most people will say "She's getting off easy because he must just be crazy about her and never complain. It's much more a challenge for the woman than people think but I believe worth it, for me at least. I am 19 years Old Currently talking to a 29yr old.
We Have A great Connection. We talk all The Time He supports me and he's here for me when I need him to be. He has a sense Of Humor Like me.
I am 28 with a 63 year old who treats me very amazing met him after my husband died , very very good sex ,he also is very caring because he ensure that I have everything,give me financial advice so I can have my own business like him..
And I love him for these little things. I am 35 and married to a 60 year old. We have 3 beautiful girls together ages 15, 11 and 5.
However, I find these days he is not interested in sex, love making etc. I am starting to become frustrated, angry and resentful. Becsuse I don't want to hurt him I find myself masterbating but I am generally unsatisfied. He is a great provider, father etc. I'm having a guy which is 49 and I'm We met through online apps and he told me he have three kids grown up. Well I like him at first and started to get to know him well by checking his Facebook and Instagram.
After a week plus, I found out he talk to another girl which he want a long term relationship with younger girls but he don't want to involve any kids if I'm pregnant or not.
He doesn't want kids anymore as he have three kids. Does that mean he just want someone who is going to be together just partner and not lifetime partner. Hi Wendy, it sounds like he is not able to trust you, which is weird because you guys have been dating for about six months now, and he wants you to move in with him.
It is likely that he is married with wife and a son, and doesn't want his wife to find out. You should do your own investigation and find out more about the man you intend to move in with. I am a 33 years old woman blessed with a wonderful career. Life had been blissful so far though I did face a lot of challenges including a failed long distance relationship with a man I wanted to spend my entire life with.
He was two years younger to me, not matured and was not ready to have bigger commitments. Leaving him was indeed the most painful decision I had to take. Now, almost after 6 years, I met this man, who's Honestly, he's the sweetest person I've ever come across in my life. He's such a caring, humble, loving, affectionate, and above all treats a woman rightly with much respect. Yes, he's married with three beautiful grown ups but unfortunately is neglected by his wife who doesn't seem to be bothered about his emotional needs anymore.
He's very honest to me and have always mentioned about his love for the family although they don't appreciate him. I adore him so much.
10 Things To Expect When Dating An Older Man
Although I do feel guilty for loving him, I can't help myself as the saying goes; Love is totally Blind.. I wonder why did we even meet and share a lot of common things together. Should I proceed or forget.. I am almost 26 and my boyfriend is There are no issues so far. We love spending time together.. Even if it's doing nothing but napping together.
We cook for Each other. For me, it's not about daddy issues or finances. I have always been attracted to older men. I believe I am capable of having a loving relationship with someone who is older.
Ridicule has been an issue. Usually by people who dont know us. For those peoe who we consider friends do not care and are happy for us. I married a man 17 years older than I. When we married I was It was his my first marriage his second. I loved the man I married and we were very happy BUT, the last 5 years have been very difficult. I was warned by my mom about marrying an older man. I only thought about the present. Now, 19 years into our marriage, I'm in the thrawls on menopause and my husband is not as active as he once was.
He blames any discourse on my menopause and that I'm not the woman he feel in love with. The bottom line is we all change but if we do it together we have a better chance.
My husband cant turn the clock back and I'm to young to be old. I Am 30 years and my husband is 61 I don't have sex with him anymore because he can't do it any more he is sick and I Am in married and I never cheat on him he give me hard time argue control to much abuse I want to divorce but am afride because am a forigne. I am 45 and my husband is 68 years old but we have the best relationship. He loves mes madly and always want to make me happy in every way. He cares for me as a dad.
I love him for who he is. He is divorced with 3 kids, financial stability has been up and down. We both have the same income and at times I have had to pick up the bills when he could not work. I love him because he makes me feel good about my self, he lifts me up and makes me smile, and I do the same for him.
I don't see an age difference until someone refers to him as my dad. I married someone 15 years younger than me. Because I had no children from my first marriage, I felt that I would not have the challenges others do.
I think I'm correct. I can take care of her well, and we're both able to settle down and have a family. I'm seeing a man that's 39 years older then me, I am 19, we haven't done anything sexual yet and he has told me he really doesn't want to do anything sexual with me he just loves my company and enjoys the time we spend together We just hang out and have fun and go out on dates and talk about a bunch of random things, stories from the past ect.
He tells me I make him really happy and he also does the same for me I know this may sound terrible to people who don't think this kind of life style is appropriate but don't knock it till you try it I guess haha In life you have to take chances or you'll miss out on a lot!!
Even the most negative medical study doesn't come close to using the word "usually". Lol the poll wording is so biased - why does it ask if you'd have an AFFAIR with an older man, instead of whether you'd get into a relationship with one? The irony is I actually found him more immature than the guy I am currently dating 4 years my senior.
I think this article leaves out one important point; if an older man is interested in a woman much younger, surely that says something about his OWN maturity levels?
What makes him reject women his own age? Is it really something so superficial as they don't look as hot anymore, or is it something deeper? Is he unable to keep up with the smart, self-assured mind of a more mature woman, for example? I didn't realise it at the time but, in some ways my ex seemed to enjoy being the one 'in control', by dating a much younger woman.
I'm not saying this is always the case but, it's important to look at the other factors in his life to accurately gauge if he is actually an older MAN. Of course we all fall into rough patches in life that can affect these perceptions whether that be redundancy, repossession or divorce , but the important thing is to look at his maturity timeline as a whole. Does it mirror yours a woman much younger than him , or does it go beyond what you've already learnt from life?
I am a Mistress for 9 years with an older man. We see each other everyday and share everything. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I knew up front that he has a family and they take a priority. He treats me with kindness and is very generous. I see us being together till death. You have articulated your situation well. I wish both of you the very best, and look forward to further updates from you.
As you say, let's watch this space: I do find many points in this article to be true. For 7 years I have been with someone 13 years my senior.
We have 1 child together, who we adore more than anything but he wants no more cause of his age. He is only I am devastated since I am so young and have so more life still in me.
I will Tell my son to never get involved with a younger women no matter how tempting. My new partner Lilt just posted the above message about us, which came as a positive surprise to me. This motivated me to write a few lines on this site as well. Yes, she is indeed 22 years younger than me, and could be my daughter.
On paper, we have very little in common. This is certainly a bit scary for both of us. We have received rather mixed comments from family members and friends. Most of them are a bit concerned. My oldest daughter 17 years of age had already a chat with my new partner. She was surprisingly positive and happy for her dad. After having spent up to five hours per day on Skype together, I have to admit that I cannot wait to meet her in Johannesburg in three days.
She has certainly swept me off my feet. I am so much looking forward to talking to her in person. Please let me clarify that this is not just about sex from either side. I am fully aware of my responsibility as the older person in the relationship, and I know how it may look for bystanders. Therefore, I will make sure that she is feeling comfortable with whatever happens between us in the future.
I have not searched actively for a young person. Previous partners were around the same age usually two years older than me. I have no intention to be a father figure, sugar daddy or a ticket to a potentially better life somewhere else.Is Dating An Older Man Weird? EXPLAINED
Finally, I am also not after a nurse or carer. We will decide together within about ten days how to move matters forward. I hope that we discover sufficient ground for a happy and long-lasting relationship as equal partners.
In any case, I am sure that there is already sufficient potential for a life-long friendship. Exactly over a month ago today, i met an older man online. He's 22yrs older than me but hey I'm not counting.
He's the most genuine person I know, honest in all his ways and loves talking to me and making me feel special. He's coming all the way to Africa, i mean that's enough commitment. Yes there's hurdles along our path but we know exactly how we feel about each other.
He can still have a family and between us money is no factor and NO I don't need another daddy. After no luck with young men he was a real welcome change. And i am willing to make it work completely. I was incredibly lucky to be introduced to a man.. Later he did fessed up to doing some reconnaissance to check me out. It has been a wonderful journey, we're both blown away by our similarities in values, family experiences and how we connect; emotionally and intimately,.
We have the most enjoyable and fulfilling relationship I've ever experienced. And he says the same. I am 36, dating a 59yo man. I cared deeply for him but he doesn't want to get married again or have anymore children since his are all grown. I think it is wrong for a 50 year old man past his prime to marry a 20 something girl who has barely started out in life. This is obviously about money and control for the girl most of the time anyways.
That to me is weird. I am 46, and there is no way I would someone in their 20's. I am 20 , dating a man 18 years my senior. I really love him and he makes me very happy.
The daddy issue is true to some extent, I feel protected and safe around him.
The good and bad of dating an older man
The main issue at hand is convincing him that I am totally comfortable with the age gap. We plan on moving to Asia soon but I am still fond of Africa how do I convince him to stay in Africa? What many people won't tell you is that even if a man is in good physical shape, after 50, many men loose their libido since their testosterone levels drop drastically. It's the same for women after menapause. My fiance' is 22 yrs. I'm 54, she She found and pursued me.
I had an issue with the age difference at 1st, but now 6 months later, I don't even see it. She is not the 1st woman I spoke with of this age. All were from overseas, and all told me young men don't know how to treat a woman, and that is why they pursued older men. Women from overseas are taught to take care of their man, unlike American women. We have common interests, I have a young heart, she, an old soul, and we both feel we have found our soul mates.
The author does bring up some valid points, but as someone earlier stated, she's not looking for me as a daddy figure, I don't have money. She wants a man to love and care for her. To provide stability and protection. It will work, but communication is the 1 thing that has to be addressed for the relationship to work.
I am 46 my children are all adults. He is not married. I know what my future looks like. I will be there to help him to the bathroom and keep him clean because i love like that. We will all need help some day and that is a FACT. I am 24 and my partner in life is We have been together for almost 6 years and He has been a great blessing in my life. He understands me in most things, and I understand him.
The most difficult thing of dating an older man is that if you ever separate and you are my age, you will not feel the same with guys your age. I've been married twice and both men were are 8 years older. My present husband is 51 and he has no libido. Great hub- good points. Your 3 reasons are crap. You left out the vital one I was looking for.. I recently got involved with a man 14 years my senior. I don't want an older man, don't want his money, don't have daddy issues, no social needs.
I just feel for him, we just flow, we just think the same, its just there. While you had a few good splashes in here, intentionally or not, your article comes across extremely degrading to women.
Its all about what we need or get from it.. I am 21 years and my husband is 60 to 61 this year but he is the sweetest man i have ever seen. Sweeter than young men when it come to be bed.
Young men lie a lot. I am 21 currently in love with a man 58 years my senior,he is so freakin awesome! He is so sweet ,and funny,he's simple and country, kinda like me. He calls me his kindred spirit,and we r so close. He is so beautiful. I am 40years old, single with no child, presently in love with a 73years old married man.
Though it took me some years to give in but honestly, I don't have any regret that I did. He said to me he has just found his soul mate. I have never experience love this way either, he appreciate everything about me. I am 27 and my boyfriend is I was very slow to let him in my life because I was so concerned with the age difference and the inevitable scrutiny from others. There was no denying our chemistry and once I let him in, I discovered a whole new world of love I never imagined even existed.
We have been getting to know each other for a little over a year, and I have grown and become better thanks for his support. He is a kid at heart, and I have an old soul. He keeps me interested and inspired, and I hope I do the same for him. I have never developed a specific type, especially toward older men, but a lust for excitement and connection. I never expected to fall in love with a man 3 years younger than my father, but there is no going back.
He listens, forgives, does not judge We have so much fun together, and I can't imagine ever growing bored of this one. I know he wont live forever, and I thankful each day to enjoy time with my Silver Fox ;. My husband of 7 years is 61 and I am 37, we have a healthy 5 year old boy. We give each other space and we share a lot of interests. This is truly the healthiest relationship I have ever had. We seem to match in ever way, even physically. He's still plenty young enough to have children, he has a good job, and he's never been married.
Even after meeting online in a video game, crossing literally the entire world, and the age difference, we get on amazingly and we both feel that we're perfect for each other. We plan to marry, and begin to save up more money and have a child together. We share many of the same viewpoints and the age is really not a factor to either of us, it seems to matter more to other people actually.
I have been in a relationship with a man 25 years my senior. As someone who has had her fair share of terrible exes, I was amazed how infatuated I was with him at first. Everything just seemed to click. Now we have a home, a family, and my parents love him, too although he's old enough to be my father.
Years later, I can say it was the best decision of my life. But please make that decision with your heart, not your wallet. I got married young to the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We were both 21 and had been together for five years. After just over two years of marriage he out of the blue decided I was no longer the one for him. I work long hours and away from home a lot which was his reason for leaving. Fortunately we didn't have children and I have my own career.
Not long after we separated a man I work with "John" was very kind to me. We had worked together for three years and although I always found him attractive I had never considered him. One night when we both got off early we decided to meet up. Everything was effortless the conversation never stalled, I never felt uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, I felt exhilarated. Not long after we began seeing each other physically. The sex was the best I've ever experienced.
I've never felt love like I do with John. Unfortunately he's 20 years older then I am and stuck in an unhappy marriage.
I feel terrible sleeping with a married man, but I suppose you can't help who you fall in love with. I don't think age should be a barrier unless you're looking for the wrong things out of a relationship. If you want an older man because he make your whole and happy go for it. If it's for his money you should reevaluate your priorities. The article is so helpful. Yet, the decision of marrying a 24 years older man is suffocating me!
I can't imagine myself getting married of a 51 yrs man while I'm still 26!!!! In my society, divorced women doesn't have a variety of options; like me. Getting divorced in a young age made life harder; I stopped dating, I refused socializing, until I realized that I have been living in a cocoon that I have created.
I am a mess right now. Marriages are fixed in my society. I was once fooled and married a man I never knew before because this is how things are here but I had a say in this marriage Thank God. Yet, I were meant to marry him for a reason; lesson learned. Thinking of starting the whole process all over again, is hard to think of.
Again, thank for the points u mentioned, really really helpful! Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
That's the kind of gap I am talking about. Financial gain seems to be the obvious answer, so I will get it out of the way straightaway. So, such an affair results in financial security.